Profile RXX-569: Virtual Star
Virtual Star
On the surface: Honest / Angry / Blunt / Boistrous / Violent / Dramatic / Obsessive / Vicious / Hateful
Under the Mess: Honest / Sweet / Compassionate / Theatrical / Playful / Supportive / Doting / Unconditional / Self-loathing
He's a dramatic fellow, animate and boistrous, blunt and callous, putting on airs of being far more confident than he actually is. He puts on an act of being more Powerful than he is. He brags and boasts about his isolation. How he isn't "tied down" by anyone or anything. Is adamant that the world is His to claim. He masks hurt and sadness with anger, lashing out with wide gestures and a big voice, always just shy of actually striking. Threatening, warning. Until it isn't a threat.
It's all bravado, all an act to keep people Away because if he lets them in they'll be able to hurt him.
He's fiercely protective and posessive of those who manage to worm their way under his thorny shield, though, or those who were there before he closed himself off.
A surprisingly domestic sort, Ealhhere is skilled in various household tasks, particularly cooking: particularly anything he can do with either a grill or a skillet, and loves to make a show of cooking.
He mourns his own behavior. Grieves over those he hurts in his frantic, frenzied self-defense and attempts to self isolate. It's not him. It's not who he wants to be. But how else can he protect himself from abandonment, except by not letting himself be Attached? How else can he keep others from realizing how "weak" he is, except by holding them away by whatever means necessary.
If he keeps others away, and doesn't get attached, he doesn't have to be afraid of who he's going to lose, or be abandoned by, next. He can cry and lash out at himself without appearing "weak". Without appearing "disposable".
He has lost all hope of being seen as anything but.
If he's going to be Alone. It's going to be on His terms.
When he's not around others and is thus free of the need to act, free of drowning himself in his fear and anger, Ealhhere hums. He smiles. It's all hollow. The isolation gnaws at him worse than any hunger could.
He is honest to a fault, except for the shield of machismo and cruelty that he wears, and except for telling himself he's really okay with things as they are.
Tends to assume people are disingenuine towards him, are mocking him, or otherwise emotionally misleading him. Assumes all positive behaviors aimed at him are some sort of act or falsehood to get something out of him. Persistance can change his mind.
However he tends to try to stick by folks whom he has previously shared good relationships with. No matter what. Clings to What Used To Be even if the current status quo is quite different.
Just a terrified cat trashing the bathroom to have something in his life that is under his own control.
Enjoys: Being able to be himself, being able to relax. Cooking, woodwork, physical activity and exercise, sun-bathing, cimbing things, digging in the dirt. Really any form of outdoors activity. Writing poetry. Not being angry. Soft touches (especially petting). Thoughtful gifts. Being allowed to dote on and be close to those he cares about. Cuddles, being allowed to be emotional.
Doesn't Enjoy: Sitting still, dark places, being angry. Shouting. Shouting. SHOUTING. Please don't yell near the cat. Sudden sharp movements near him. People behind him. Being excluded from things. Being complimented (doesn't trust them, assumes mockery). Hollow gifts. Flattery. Being Alone.
Please ask before gift art